Adam Carolla Quotes, Hurt Quotes

I'd never hurt another person.

6 years ago

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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

6 years ago

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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

6 years ago

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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

6 years ago

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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

6 years ago

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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

6 years ago

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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

6 years ago

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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

6 years ago

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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

6 years ago

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My first car was a motorcycle.

6 years ago

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When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

6 years ago

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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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I am not a good cue card reader.

6 years ago

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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

6 years ago

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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

6 years ago

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