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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes
- I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes
- Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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- I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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- My motto is "more mystery, less history".
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- I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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- I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes
- I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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- A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes
- I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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- I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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- You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes
- When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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- That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes
- Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Media Quotes , Worried Quotes
- If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes
- I know everything because I know nothing.
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