Adam Carolla Quotes, Ill Will Quotes, Office Quotes

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Television Quotes , Radio Quotes

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

5 years ago

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My motto is "more mystery, less history".

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mystery Quotes , Motto Quotes

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hollywood Quotes , Connections Quotes

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Believe Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Welfare is monetary methadone.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Welfare Quotes , Methadone Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

I don't know anything about computers.

5 years ago

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I'm a comedian, not a politician.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Comedian Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes