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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes
- I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes
- Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes
- California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes
- Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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- What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hands Quotes , Common Sense Quotes
- I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hollywood Quotes , Connections Quotes
- I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes
- No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Book Quotes , Comedian Quotes
- Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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- No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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- I don't know anything about computers.
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- I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Podcasting Quotes , Form Quotes
- People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dream Quotes , People Quotes
- You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Accomplishment Quotes , Feel Good Quotes
- I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes
- A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes
- I am not a good cue card reader.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes
- Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes