Adam Carolla Quotes, Practice Quotes, People Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Thinking Quotes

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Life Is Quotes

Don’t do your best, do my best.

6 years ago

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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reading Quotes , Book Quotes

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Views Quotes , Land Quotes

Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Focus Quotes , Saving Quotes

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Believe Quotes

It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

6 years ago

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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheist Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

6 years ago

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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Country Quotes , Feet Quotes

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Annoyed Quotes , Time Travel Quotes