Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

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We are all ignorant; just about different things.

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It is better to be alone than unwelcome. - Eve

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Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.

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Who are the oppressors? The few: the King, the capitalist, and a handful of other overseers and superintendents. Who are the oppressed? The many: the nations of the earth; the valuable personages; the workers; they that make the bread that the soft-handed and idle eat.

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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.

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I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.

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Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.

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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.

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Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Running Quotes

Of all the unchristian beverages that ever passed my lips, Turkish coffee is the worst. The cup is small, it is smeared with grounds; the coffee is black, thick, unsavory of smell, and execrable in taste. The bottom of the cup has a muddy sediment in it half an inch deep. This goes down your throat, and portions of it lodge by the way, and produce a tickling aggravation that keeps you barking and coughing for an hour.

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My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.

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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

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Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.

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Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.

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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.

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Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.

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