Mark Twain Quotes, Wise Quotes, Stupid Quotes

... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men; depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians; gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Communication Quotes , Talking Quotes

We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dollars Quotes , Privilege Quotes

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Death Quotes

My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Animal Quotes

The partitions of the houses were so thin we could hear the women occupants of adjoining rooms changing their minds.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Mind Quotes

There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Light Quotes

Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Trying Quotes

By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Age Quotes

You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes

There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Encouragement Quotes , Stress Quotes

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

In German, a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sex Quotes , Young Quotes

One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Determination Quotes

I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead--and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Honesty Quotes

I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Two Quotes

Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Stars Quotes

I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to such a degree that the average man has turned the rights and wrongs of things entirely around and is proud to be "consistent," unchanging, immovable, fossilized, where it should be his humiliation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Rights Quotes

Information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious otter of roses out of the otter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , Otters Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes