Mark Twain Quotes

Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.

6 years ago

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They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.

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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Believe Quotes

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

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All right, then, I'll go to hell.

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Experience is an author's most valuable asset; experience is the thing that puts the muscle and the breath and the warm blood into the book he writes.

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What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

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I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.

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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I wish to become rich, so that I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kind hearted, fat, benevolent people do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Greed Quotes

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Appreciated Quotes

It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing-and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite - that is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Simple Quotes , Men Quotes

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

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It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Growing Quotes , Littles Quotes

What's your name?" "Becky Thatcher. What's yours? Oh, I know. It's Thomas Sawyer." "That's the name they lick me by. I'm Tom when I'm good. You call me Tom, will you?" "Yes

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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

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This editor is a critic. He has pulled out his carving-knife and his tomahawk and is starting after a book which he is going to have for breakfast.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Knives Quotes

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

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Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72.

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