Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Believe Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Atheist Quotes

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Confidence Quotes , Good Life Quotes

Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Able Quotes

... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Insanity Quotes , Degrees Quotes

Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fiction Quotes , Stranger Quotes

If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fewer Quotes

The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Worry Quotes

My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

In religion, India is the only millionaire... the One land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even a glimpse, would not give that glimpse for all the shows of all the rest of the globe combined.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Past Quotes , Men Quotes

My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Land Quotes

Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Forgiveness Quotes , Forgive And Forget Quotes

If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Effort Quotes

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Morning Quotes , Jobs Quotes

If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Should Quotes

I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly; but their wives had grown old. These were good women; it is very wearing to be good.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Years Quotes

Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Watches Quotes

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Risk Quotes , Age Quotes