Mark Twain Quotes, Education Quotes, Dog Quotes

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Dog Quotes

He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vanity Quotes , Giving Quotes

A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Foolish Quotes

Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jesus Quotes , Men Quotes

Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Children Quotes

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

When you catch an adjective, kill it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Editing Quotes

Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , People Quotes

There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Way Quotes

When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Failure Quotes , Fall Quotes

Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Angel Quotes

In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , German Language Quotes , Awful Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Writing Quotes

There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Widows Quotes , Body Quotes

Only laughter can blow [a colossal humbug] to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Blow Quotes

You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it; and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Joy Quotes , Looks Quotes

This morning arrives a letter from my ancient silver-mining comrade, Calvin H. Higbie, a man whom I have not seen nor had communication with for forty-four years. . . . [Footnote: Roughing It is dedicated to Higbie.] . . . I shall allow myself the privilege of copying his punctuation and his spelling, for to me they are a part of the man. He is as honest as the day is long. He is utterly simple-minded and straightforward, and his spelling and his punctuation are as simple and honest as he is himself. He makes no apology for them, and no apology is needed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Morning Quotes , Communication Quotes

I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Schooling Quotes

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes