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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment.
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- The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
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- The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
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- What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
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- Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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- Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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- When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did say, "When you are in doubt," but when I am in doubt myself I use more sagacity.
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- No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
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- His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.
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- Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
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- Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
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- Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
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- Never do wrong when people are looking.
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- A person who has during all time maintained the imposing position of spiritual head of four-fifths of the human race, and political head of the whole of it, must be granted the possession of executive abilities of the loftiest order.
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- It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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- Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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- Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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- Was it my conspicuousness that distressed me? Not at all. It was merely that I was not beautifully conspicuous but uglily conspicuous - it makes all the difference in the world.
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- I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union.
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- I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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