Mark Twain Quotes, Lying Quotes, Book Quotes

When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Book Quotes

All publishers are Columbuses. The successful author is their America. The reflection that they-like Columbus-didn't discover what they expected to discover, and didn't discover what they started out to discover, doesn't trouble them. All they remember is that they discovered America; they forget that they started out to discover some patch or corner of India.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Successful Quotes , Reflection Quotes

You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Adventure Quotes

Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Differences Quotes

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Successful Quotes

Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Eight Quotes , Want Quotes

If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Funeral Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Garden Quotes

We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Religion Quotes

I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Two Quotes

There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Encouragement Quotes , Stress Quotes

I never could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because the fault must lie in my physical organization. It is likely that such a very liberal amount of space was given to the organ which enables me to make promises that the organ which should enable me to keep them was crowded out. But I grieve not. I like no half-way things. I had rather have one faculty nobly developed than two faculties of mere ordinary capacity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Grieving Quotes

The truth hurts, but silence kills.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Silence Quotes

It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Optimism Quotes , Sometimes Quotes

And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cute Quotes , Rags Quotes

Custom is, to think a handsome thing in private but tame it down in the utterance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Utterance Quotes

Ours is the "land of the free"-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Land Quotes , People Quotes

You aim for the palace and get drowned in the sewer.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Palaces Quotes , Aim Quotes

Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Long Quotes