Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It's so damned humiliating.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , History Quotes

The southerner talks music.

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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Country Quotes

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Forgiveness Quotes , Death Quotes

But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suicide Quotes , Suicidal Quotes

I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Complaining Quotes

We catched fish, and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness. It was kind of solemn, drifting down the big still river, laying on our backs looking up at the stars, and we didn’t ever feel like talking loud, and it warn’t often that we laughed, only a kind of low chuckle. We had mighty good weather, as a general thing, and nothing ever happened to us at all, that night, nor the next, nor the next.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Stars Quotes , Night Quotes

We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes

Men and women -- even man and wife are foreigners. Each has reserves that the other cannot enter into, nor understand. These have the effect of frontiers.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Men Quotes

...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Epitaph Quotes , Ought Quotes

They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bread Quotes , Compliment Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Prayer Quotes

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Knives Quotes

Tell the truth or trump-but get the trick.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Men Quotes

I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Biblical Quotes , Men Quotes