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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- No sane man will dance.
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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes
- 'Tis a superstition to insist on a special diet. All is made at last of the same chemical atoms.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- What is a husband? He is the one who, with a touch, can bring back the starlight and glow of years long ago. At least he hopes he can - don't disappoint him.
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Tags : Alan Beck Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes
- Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes
- If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Appreciation Quotes
- All generalizations are false, including this one.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes