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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple.
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Tags : Rabindranath Tagore Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes
- A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.
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Tags : O. Henry Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes
- What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Faith Quotes
- Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes
- Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes