Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

This past Thanksgiving, my father was at the farm, and I had all 11 dogs in the house with a father who never allowed dogs in the house. And he got up to leave the table and came back and Solomon was in his chair. And he says, "This dog is in my chair." And I said, "It's the other way around, you're sitting in his chair."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Abba Eban Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The English country-gentleman galloping after a fox — the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mean Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

What I tell you three times is true.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes