Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mean Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

On summer evenings, when every flower, and tree, and bird, might have better addressed my soft young heart, I have in my day been caught in the palm of a female hand by the crown, have been violently scrubbed from the neck to the roots of the hair as a purification for the Temple, and have then been carried off highly charged with saponaceous electricity, to be steamed like a potato in the unventilated breath of the powerful Boanerges Boiler and his congregation, until what small mind I had, was quite steamed out of me

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Summer Quotes