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Funny Quotes 957
- What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes
- Farewell, fair cruelty.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It is obvious that all sense has gone out of modern marriage; which is, however, no objection to marriage but to modernity.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes
- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- If a student takes the whole series of my folklore courses including the graduate seminars, he or she should learn something about fieldwork, something about bibliography, something about how to carry out library research, and something about how to publish that research.
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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Sunshine is my quest.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes
- I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.
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Tags : Alan Minter Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes