Al Gore Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.

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Tags : Al Gore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

Dombey and Son had often dealt in hides, but never in hearts. They left that fancy ware to boys and girls, and boarding-schools and books. Mr. Dombey would have reasoned: That a matrimonial alliance with himself must, in the nature of things, be gratifying and honourable to any woman of common sense. That the hope of giving birth to a new partner in such a house, could not fail to awaken a glorious and stirring ambition in the breast of the least ambitious of her sex.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes