George W. Bush Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sister Quotes

It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes

We have the best government that money can buy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The funniest people are the saddest once

5 years ago

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Gay Quotes

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes