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  • Humor Quotes   564
  • I was carrying a beautiful alcoholic conflagration around with me. The thing fed on its own heat and flamed the fiercer. There was no time, in all my waking time, that I didn't want a drink. I began to anticipate the completion of my daily thousand words by taking a drink when only five hundred words were written. It was not long until I prefaced the beginning of the thousand words with a drink.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Jack London Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Humor Quotes
  • God told me to strike at al Qaeda and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam [Hussein], which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Focus Quotes
  • Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Mean Quotes