Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Jealous Quotes, Reality Quotes

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Pockets Quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Giving Quotes , Peculiar Quotes

SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

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Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Men Quotes

I think I think, therefore I think I am.

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Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

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PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

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predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.

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IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , Science Quotes

PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Views Quotes , Editors Quotes

RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

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The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mean Quotes , Pride Quotes

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Alcohol Quotes

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Land Quotes , Foundation Quotes

R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".

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A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , God Quotes , Years Quotes

HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , West Indies Quotes