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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.
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- EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
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- To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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- A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
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- LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.
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- REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
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- A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the "buffone", or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play.
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- VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
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- Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.
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- True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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- Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.
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- Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.
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- FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"
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- Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.
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- PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.
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- TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
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- FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
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- pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
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- Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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- Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.
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