Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Fear Quotes, Brain Quotes

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

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HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

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REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

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OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.

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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

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A man is known by the company he organizes.

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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.

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PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.

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Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

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Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.

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Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.

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LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

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LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.

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You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

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Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

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ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden.

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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

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Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

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KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

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