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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
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- FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs
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- JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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- COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.
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- ENOUGH, pro. All there is in the world if you like it.
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- Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.
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- Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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- DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.
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- PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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- Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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- ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
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- POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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- IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.
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- Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
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- I was born to poor because of honest parents.
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- DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
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- Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
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- ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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- Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
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- READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.
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