Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Religious Quotes, Oil Quotes

RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

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LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name- liver, the thing we live with.

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The god of the world's leading religion.

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Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

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Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Sitting Quotes

PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.

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The covers of this book are too far apart.

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HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.

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Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

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OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

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COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

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SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.

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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

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