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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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- DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.
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- A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
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- TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.
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- Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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- GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.
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- Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.
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- ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.
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- I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
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- WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.
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- Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
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- Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
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- Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
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- Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".
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- Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
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- LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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- Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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- God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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- Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
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- Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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