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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
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- gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
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- Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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- A penny saved is a penny to squander.
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- LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.
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- Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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- LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.
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- PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
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- If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
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- Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
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- Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.
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- The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.
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- EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.
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- POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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- GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.
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- God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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- MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
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- Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
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- Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.
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- Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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