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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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- PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
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- Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
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- Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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- MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
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- PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
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- WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.
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- Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.
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- Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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- PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
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- When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
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- Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.
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- Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.
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- Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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- OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
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- A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
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- CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.
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- Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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- The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.
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