Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Animal Quotes, Men Quotes

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

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WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

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Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.

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Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

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I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.

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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Philosopher Quotes

OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.

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prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.

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WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.

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A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.

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CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

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Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

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MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.

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diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

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Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

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