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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
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- ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
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- General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.
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- DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.
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- That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity
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- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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- Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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- Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
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- Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.
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- PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
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- CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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- PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
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- Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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- MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.
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- SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
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- A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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- MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines, who believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. Herod of Judea, all the famous soldiers have been practical exponents of the Malthusian idea.
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- BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
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- Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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- MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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