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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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- Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
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- REDRESS, n. Reparation without satisfaction.
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- RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
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- Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
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- EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
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- PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.
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- WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.
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- Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
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- DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.
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- PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.
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- Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.
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- MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
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- HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
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- Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
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- PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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- PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.
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- Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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- There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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- I think I think, therefore I think I am.
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