Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Nature Quotes, Support Quotes

LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

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FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.

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Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

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HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.

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PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.

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PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

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JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Utterance Quotes

IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Men Quotes

PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.

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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.

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Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

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LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

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Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.

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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

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J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, "jacere", "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Latin Quotes

WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Success Quotes , Wall Quotes

QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , White Quotes , Numbers Quotes