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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
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- PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
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- YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a living Homer.
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- Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
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- Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.
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- REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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- MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
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- BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.
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- A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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- Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
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- Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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- RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
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- A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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- actually, adv. Perhaps; possibly.
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- Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.
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- Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
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- Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.
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- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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- CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?
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- Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
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