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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.
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- HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
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- plagiarism, n. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honorable subsequence.
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- Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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- ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.
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- ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.
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- self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.
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- A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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- EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
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- JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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- He laughs best who laughs least.
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- ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.
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- Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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- EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
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- Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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- DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
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- NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.
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- INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.
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- Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
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- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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