Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Courage Quotes

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

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MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher . .

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mind Quotes , Molecules Quotes

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Nature Quotes

REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.

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A man is known by the company he organizes.

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Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.

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Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

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Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

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Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Listening To Others Quotes , Bores You Quotes

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

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Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

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I was born to poor because of honest parents.

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PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.

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ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .

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Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

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Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.

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