Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Gentleman Quotes, Pockets Quotes

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

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CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

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Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

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Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

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Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

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predicament, n. The wage of consistency.

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OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fun Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Drinking Quotes

Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.

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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

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Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See nonsense.

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PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

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Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

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A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

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DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

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GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.

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FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

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Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

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PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.

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