Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Growth Quotes, Language Quotes

Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Growth Quotes , Language Quotes

QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Beauty Quotes , Names Quotes

PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Museums Quotes

That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Adversity Quotes

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , God Quotes

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Education Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Book Quotes , Forever Quotes

YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Past Quotes , Yesterday Quotes

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hope Quotes , Military Quotes

Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Heaven Quotes , Wicked Quotes

Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fear Quotes , Worship Quotes

ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Heaven Quotes

TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious source --the first words of the ancient Latin hymn _Te Deum Laudamus_. In this apparently natural derivation there is something that saddens.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Father Quotes , Latin Quotes

PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Trust Quotes , Envy Quotes

There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Would Be Quotes , Telephones Quotes

IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Honor Quotes

PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Philosophy Quotes , Ancient Quotes