Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sacrifice Quotes, Atheism Quotes

The place whereon the priest formerly raveled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its flesh for the gods. The word is now seldom used, except with reference to the sacrifice of their liberty and peace by a male and a female fool.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sacrifice Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Stars Quotes , Responsibility Quotes

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Light Quotes

LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.

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Congratulations is the civility of envy.

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IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.

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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lying Quotes , Sadness Quotes

Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

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RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable - omnipotent on condition that it do nothing.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Exercise Quotes , Republic Quotes

Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

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GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.

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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

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Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

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PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.

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Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.

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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

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Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Vanishing Quotes

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes

NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Assessment Quotes , Political Quotes