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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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- IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.
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- Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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- NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
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- LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".
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- Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.
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- Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.
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- That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity
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- EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
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- ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."
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- EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
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- CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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- Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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- CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?
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- Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.
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- MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
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- WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.
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- MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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- OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.
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- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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