Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Mind Quotes, Causes Quotes

INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.

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RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.

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IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

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IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

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LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

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PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.

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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

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Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

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The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

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DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.

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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

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NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

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ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.

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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

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FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rags Quotes , Troops Quotes