Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Christian Quotes, Camels Quotes

Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.

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That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

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Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

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INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of them, but not enough for both - as Walt Whitman's poetry and God's mercy to man.

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One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of "hands across the sea," and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night; professions of eternal amity provide the night.

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INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.

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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

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Least said is soon disavowed.

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NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , Preparation Quotes

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

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HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.

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MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

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The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

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Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.

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To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

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WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.

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PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.

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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.

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