Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Hands Quotes

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

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NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.

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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

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What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.

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Least said is soon disavowed.

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SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of devouring the body placed in it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Greek Quotes

MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher . .

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mind Quotes , Molecules Quotes

Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

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When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , May Quotes , Faults Quotes

Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wall Quotes , Fall Quotes

MONOSYLLABIC, adj. Composed of words of one syllable . . . Commonly Saxon - that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute of ideas and incapable of any but the most elementary sentiments and emotions.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ideas Quotes , People Quotes

pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hateful Quotes , Pleasure Quotes

Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Art Quotes

POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Philosophy Quotes , Real Quotes

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Business Quotes , Night Quotes

POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.

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Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

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RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans".

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Brother Quotes