George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

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My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

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Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

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I claim to be a conscientiously immoral writer.

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We are the living graves of murdered beasts, slaughtered to satisfy our appetites. How can we hope in this world to attain the peace we say we are so anxious for?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Vegetarian Diet Quotes , Vegetarianism Quotes

The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure for it is occupation, because occupation means pre-occupation; and the pre-occupied person is neither happy nor unhappy, but simply alive and active. That is why it is necessary to happiness that one should be tired.

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The love of economy is the root of all virtue.

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Schools and schoolmasters, as we have them today, are not popular as places of education and teachers, but rather prisons and turnkeys in which children are kept to prevent them disturbing and chaperoning their parent.

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If you do not write for publication, there is little point in writing at all.

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We are sick of war, we don't want to fight, And yet we gorge ourselves upon the dead.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , War Quotes , Fighting Quotes

There is, on the whole, nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school. To begin with, it is a prison. But in some respects more cruel than a prison. In a prison, for instance, you are not forced to read books written by the warders and the governor. . . .In the prison you are not forced to sit listening to turnkeys discoursing without charm or interest on subjects that they don't understand and don't care about, and therefore incapable of making you understand or care about. In a prison they may torture your body; but they do not torture your brains.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Book Quotes , School Quotes

The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.

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Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.

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An American has no sense of privacy. He does not know what it means.There is no such thing in the country.

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Civilized society is one huge bourgeoisie: no nobleman dares now shock his greengrocer.

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Love is a simple thing and a deep thing: it is an act of life and not an illusion. Art is an illusion.

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Our way of getting an army able to fight the German army is to declare war on Germany just as if we had such an army, and then trust to the appalling resultant peril and disaster to drive us into wholesale enlistment.

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While we have prisons it matters little which of us occupy the cells.

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Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?

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Of all human struggles there is none so treacherous and remorseless as the struggle between the artist man and the mother woman.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Mother Quotes , Struggle Quotes