George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

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I like flowers, I also like children, but I do not chop their heads off and keep them in bowls of water around the house.

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The lesson intended by an author is hardly ever the lesson the world chooses to learn from his book.

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There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.

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Orchestras only need to be sworn at, and a German is consequently at an advantage with them, as English profanity, except in America, has not gone beyond a limited technology of perdition.

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Man is the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid.

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A day's work is a day's work, neither more nor less, and the man or woman who does it needs a day's sustenance, a night's repose and due leisure, whether they be painter or ploughman.

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What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

It is necessary for the welfare of society that genius should be privileged to utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste, to corrupt the youthful mind, and generally to scandalize one's uncles.

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The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.

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Any sort of plain speaking is better than the nauseous sham good fellowship our democratic public men get up for shop use.

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Newspaper : A device unable to distinguish between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation.

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Hurrah for revolution and more cannon-shot! A beggar upon horseback lashes a beggar on foot. Hurrah for revolution and cannon come again! The beggars have changed places, but the lash goes on.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Feet Quotes , Goes On Quotes

I am a sort of collector of religions: and the curious thing is that I find I can believe in them all.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Believe Quotes , Curiosity Quotes

The real moment of success is not the moment apparent to the crowd.

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Remember that I too am mortal.

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The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Inspirational Quotes , Vegetarianism Quotes

It is the inefficiency and sham of ... our schools ... that save us from being dashed on the rocks of false doctrine instead of drifting down the midstream of mere ignorance.

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The British churchgoer prefers a severe preacher because he thinks a few home truths will do his neighbors no harm.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Home Quotes , Thinking Quotes

We are sick of war, we don't want to fight, And yet we gorge ourselves upon the dead.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , War Quotes , Fighting Quotes