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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes
- I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Emotional Quotes
- Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Eye Quotes , Color Quotes
- To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes
- It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes
- Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes
- People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes
- I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Annoyed Quotes , Time Travel Quotes
- You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes
- You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Accomplishment Quotes , Feel Good Quotes
- Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Emotional Quotes , Guy Quotes
- You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Names Quotes , Feelings Quotes
- When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes
- The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes
- I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes
- I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes
- I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes