Adam Carolla Quotes, Definitions Quotes

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Definitions Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Annoyed Quotes , Time Travel Quotes

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Podcasting Quotes , Form Quotes

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Air Quotes , Stories Quotes

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Emotional Quotes , Guy Quotes

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Drama Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Missing Quotes , Television Quotes

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nuts Quotes , Car Quotes

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Thinking Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes

When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christmas Quotes , Dad Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes