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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes
- You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes
- My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes
- Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Women Quotes
- If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Media Quotes , Worried Quotes
- I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hollywood Quotes , Connections Quotes
- My first car was a motorcycle.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Motorcycle Quotes
- The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Art Quotes
- Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes
- I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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- Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Emotional Quotes , Guy Quotes
- You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes
- The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reading Quotes , Book Quotes
- I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes
- California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes