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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes
- You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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- Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes
- You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Names Quotes , Feelings Quotes
- My first car was a motorcycle.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Motorcycle Quotes
- I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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- People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Stupid Quotes , Successful Quotes
- When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Country Quotes , Feet Quotes
- Welfare is monetary methadone.
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- I know everything because I know nothing.
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- No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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- Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes
- When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Missing Quotes , Television Quotes
- Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.
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- I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes
- That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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- If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dog Quotes , Good Life Quotes
- I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes