Adam Carolla Quotes, Atheist Quotes, Sex Quotes

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Sex Quotes

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Believe Quotes

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

6 years ago

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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Realist Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Butterfly Quotes , Beer Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

6 years ago

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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Missing Quotes , Television Quotes

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dog Quotes , Good Life Quotes

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Emotional Quotes

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Names Quotes , Feelings Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

6 years ago

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

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I don't know anything about computers.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Computer Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes