Adam Carolla Quotes, Travel Quotes, Knowing Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Blue Quotes , Guy Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Hollywood Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There are certain things women are better at than men.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

I know everything because I know nothing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes

It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes , Rich Quotes

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes

California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Joy Quotes

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Names Quotes

Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , School Quotes , College Quotes

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes