Adam Carolla Quotes, Jobs Quotes, Horrible Jobs Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christmas Quotes , Dad Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

5 years ago

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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

5 years ago

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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nuts Quotes , Car Quotes

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Art Quotes

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

5 years ago

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.

5 years ago

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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

5 years ago

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I know everything because I know nothing.

5 years ago

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I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes