Adam Carolla Quotes, Boxing Quotes

I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Boxing Quotes

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

5 years ago

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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

5 years ago

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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

5 years ago

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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

5 years ago

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I don't know anything about computers.

5 years ago

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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes

[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

5 years ago

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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

5 years ago

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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

5 years ago

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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

5 years ago

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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

5 years ago

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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

5 years ago

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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Emotional Quotes , Guy Quotes