Mark Twain Quotes, Girl Quotes, Knives Quotes

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Knives Quotes

When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Promise Quotes

Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , People Quotes

The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Joy Quotes

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

A good legible label is usually worth, for information, a ton of significant attitude and expression in a historical picture.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Attitude Quotes

If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Conceited Quotes

The motto stated a lie. If this nation has ever trusted in God, that time has gone by; for nearly half a century almost its entire trust has been in the Republican party and the dollar--mainly the dollar. I recognize that I am only making an assertion and furnishing no proof; I am sorry, but this is a habit of mine; sorry also that I am not alone in it; everybody seems to have this disease.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Sorry Quotes

A public library is the most enduring of memorials, the trustiest monument for the preservation of an event or a name or an affection; for it, and it only, is respected by wars and revolutions, and survives them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Names Quotes

I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Angel Quotes

I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dance Quotes , Party Quotes

There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Widows Quotes , Body Quotes

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Pain Quotes

If they [the dead] should speak, it would be found that in matters of opinion no departed person was exactly what he had passed for in life. They would realise, deep down, that they, and whole nations along with them, are not really what they seem to be-and never can be.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Departed Quotes , Would Be Quotes

They did not know it was impossible so they did it

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Attitude Quotes , Law Of Attraction Quotes

...fry me an optimist for breakfast.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Optimistic Quotes , Breakfast Quotes

I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead--and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Honesty Quotes