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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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- After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
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- The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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- In the small town of Hannibal, Missouri, when I was a boy, everybody was poor, but didn't know it; and everybody was comfortable and did know it.
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- I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
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- The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.
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- When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder.
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- There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where your heart is in it, than out of thirty acts of a nobler sort.
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- A street in Constantinople is a picture which one ought to see once-not oftener.
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- A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
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- Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
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- The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny
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- There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here.
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- At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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- Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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- In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.
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- The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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- To believe yourself brave is to be brave; it is the one only essential thing.
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- Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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- I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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