Mark Twain Quotes, Doubt Quotes, Watches Quotes

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Watches Quotes

All publishers are Columbuses. The successful author is their America. The reflection that they-like Columbus-didn't discover what they expected to discover, and didn't discover what they started out to discover, doesn't trouble them. All they remember is that they discovered America; they forget that they started out to discover some patch or corner of India.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Successful Quotes , Reflection Quotes

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Dog Quotes

What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Life Quotes

Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Somewhere Else Quotes

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Positive Quotes , Death Quotes

Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Approval Of Others Quotes , Self Quotes

And I urge upon you this - which I think is wisdom - if you find you can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road, don't you go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Uncomfortable Quotes

There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Climbing Quotes , People Quotes

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Congress Quotes

Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Tragedy Quotes

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Hate Quotes

I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to such a degree that the average man has turned the rights and wrongs of things entirely around and is proud to be "consistent," unchanging, immovable, fossilized, where it should be his humiliation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Rights Quotes

I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ceramics Quotes , Pottery Quotes

All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Care Quotes

I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be 142.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Age Quotes , Way Quotes

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , College Quotes , Brain Quotes

For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Knowledge Quotes

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Men Quotes