Mark Twain Quotes, Country Quotes, Patriotic Quotes

Man is the only Patriot. He sets himself apart in his own country, under his own flag, and sneers at the other nations, and keeps multitudinous uniformed assassins on hand at heavy expense to grab slices of other people's countries, and keep them from grabbing slices of his. And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man - with his mouth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Patriotic Quotes

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Mad Quotes

Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Respectful Quotes , Be Respectful Quotes

I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Differences Quotes

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Friendship Quotes , Exercise Quotes

...mastery of the art and spirit of the Germanic language enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without changing cars.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Men Quotes

If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Funeral Quotes

If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out; and I don't know but more so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Discovery Quotes , Interesting Quotes

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Running Quotes

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

You want to be very careful about lying; otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Want Quotes

I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Schooling Quotes

If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John Hay 41 he said life was a tragedy after 40, and I disputed it. Three years ago he asked me to testify again: I counted my graves, and there was nothing for me to say. I am old; I recognize it but I don't realize it. I wonder if a person ever really ceases to feel young - I mean, for a whole day at a time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Said Life Quotes

Custom is, to think a handsome thing in private but tame it down in the utterance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Utterance Quotes

After a few months' acquaintance with European 'coffee' one's mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with it's clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Coffee Quotes

I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged study, and to-day the only mathematics I know is multiplication, and the minute I get away up in that, as soon as I reach nine times seven- [He lapsed into deep thought, trying to figure nine times seven. Mr. McKelway whispered the answer to him.] I've got it now. It's eighty-four. Well, I can get that far all right with a little hesitation. After that I am uncertain, and I can't manage a statistic.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Accomplishment Quotes

To my mind that literature is best and most enduring which is characterized by a noble simplicity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Simplicity Quotes , Mind Quotes

The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Joy Quotes

I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Years Quotes