Mark Twain Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Inspiration Quotes

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I like a thin book because it will Steady a Table, a leather volume because it will Strop a Razor, and a heavy book because it can be Thrown at a Cat.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Cat Quotes

When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Sunny Weather Quotes

I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Army Quotes

Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration; authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Wind Quotes

There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual. ...Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Greed Quotes

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Frozen Quotes , Cold Quotes

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uncles Quotes

More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Biblical Quotes

I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Humble Quotes

The primary rule of business success is loyalty to your employer. That's all right as a theory. What is the matter with loyalty to yourself?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Loyalty Quotes , Business Success Quotes

Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sound Quotes , Mouths Quotes

There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Ideas Quotes

Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Differences Quotes

A marriage...makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, and something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wedding Quotes , Flower Quotes

...many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Silly Quotes

the rumors of the White Sox demise are greatly exaggerated.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , White Quotes , Rumor Quotes