Mark Twain Quotes, Law Quotes, Lawyer Quotes

The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Lawyer Quotes

We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Thinking Quotes

God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Men Quotes

Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it; it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Giving Quotes

One of the brightest gems in the New England weather is the dazzling uncertainty of it.

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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fire Quotes , Heaven Quotes

Definite speech means clarity of mind.

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I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sight Quotes , Hands Quotes

What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Play Quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

She kept up her compliments, and I kept up my determination to deserve them or die.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Determination Quotes , Compliment Quotes

I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is "hogwash"

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Land Quotes , Names Quotes

If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Conceited Quotes

... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men; depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians; gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.

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There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

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For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment

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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years. It seems manifest, then, that the latter tongue ought to be trimmed down and repaired. If it is to remain as it is, it ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , German Language Quotes , Years Quotes