Mark Twain Quotes, Christian Quotes, Heart Quotes

A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Heart Quotes

I am as prompt as a clock, if I only know the day a thing is wantedotherwise I am a natural procrastinaturalist.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Natural Quotes , Clock Quotes

When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Insane Quotes , Majority Quotes

We must put up with our clothes as they are - they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us - to advertise what we wear them to conceal. They are a sign; a sign of insincerity; a sign of suppressed vanity; a pretense that we desire gorgeous colors and the graces of harmony and form; and we put them on to propagate that lie and back it up.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Vanity Quotes

Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Needs Quotes

Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Crazy Quotes

Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Book Quotes

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

In literature imitations do not imitate.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Literature Quotes

In love, you pay as you leave.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love You Quotes

When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Animal Quotes

The waves most washed me off the raft sometimes, but I hadn't any clothes on, and didn't mind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes , Mind Quotes

Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Writing Quotes

I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead--and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Honesty Quotes

It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hands Quotes , Play Quotes

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Work Quotes

I would much prefer to suffer from the clean incision of an honest lancet than from a sweetened poison.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Suffering Quotes