Mark Twain Quotes, Strength Quotes, Mistake Quotes

A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world because he is a jackass; but anobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass. It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place. And yet, once you start a mistake, the trouble is done and you never know what is going to come of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Strength Quotes , Mistake Quotes

God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Writing Quotes

That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Church Quotes , Tails Quotes

As one boy said, 'I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they're all that bad, how come I'm so wonderful'

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hilarious Quotes , Tree Quotes

In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Believe Quotes

When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Government Quotes

All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Fur Quotes

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Father Quotes

It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. "Give them to others"-that's my motto.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Practice Quotes , Giving Quotes

One gains at least two to three times more experience grabbing the tiger by the tail than reading about it in a book.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Reading Quotes

Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Hero Quotes

Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom; it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Use Quotes , Periods Quotes

Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Trying Quotes

Christianity will doubtless still survive in the earth ten centuries hence- stuffed and in a museum.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Museums Quotes , Earth Quotes

No man is straitly honest to any but himself and God.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Men Quotes

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes