Mark Twain Quotes

Chastity - you can carry it too far.

6 years ago

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Man is the only Patriot. He sets himself apart in his own country, under his own flag, and sneers at the other nations, and keeps multitudinous uniformed assassins on hand at heavy expense to grab slices of other people's countries, and keep them from grabbing slices of his. And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man - with his mouth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Patriotic Quotes

The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.

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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?

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You aim for the palace and get drowned in the sewer.

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Was it my conspicuousness that distressed me? Not at all. It was merely that I was not beautifully conspicuous but uglily conspicuous - it makes all the difference in the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Differences Quotes , World Quotes

We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.

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No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.

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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned

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There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

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The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.

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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

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I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

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I said there was nothing so convincing to an Indian as a general massacre. If he could not approve of the massacre, I said the next surest thing for an Indian was soap and education. Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run; because a half-massacred Indian may recover, but if you educate him and wash him, it is bound to finish him some time or other.

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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

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And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.

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Heroine: girl who is perfectly charming to live with, in a book.

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The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

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