Mark Twain Quotes, Lying Quotes, Inspiration Quotes

It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.

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Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

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Moralists and philosophers have adjudged those who throw temptation in the way of the erring, equally guilty with those who are thereby led into evil

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Evil Quotes , Temptation Quotes

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Fiction Quotes

There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Ideas Quotes

My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before; my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.

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You aim for the palace and get drowned in the sewer.

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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fun Quotes , Heaven Quotes

The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Liars Quotes

Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.

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The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

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A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public

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None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Trying Quotes , Half Quotes

Life ain't about how fast you run or how high you climb, It's all about how good you bounce. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Men Quotes

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore, in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long, seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Two Quotes

When an honest writer discovers an imposition it is his simple duty to strip it bare and hurl it down from its place of honor, no matter who suffers by it; any other course would render him unworthy of the public confidence.

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No one has ever seen a Republican mass meeting that was devoid of the perception of the ludicrous.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Perception Quotes , Republican Quotes

Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.

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One must travel, to learn.

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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

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