Mark Twain Quotes, Marriage Quotes, Girl Quotes

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Girl Quotes

The pause - that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Silence Quotes , Progressive Quotes

Man is the only slave. And he is the only animal who enslaves. He has always been a slave in one form or another, and has always held other slaves in bondage under him in one way or another. In our day, he is always some man's slave for wages, and does that man's work; and this slave has other slaves under him for minor wages, and they do his work. The higher animals are the only ones who exclusively do their own work and provide their own living.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

When we do not know a person - and also when we do - we have to judge his size by the size and nature of his achievements, as compared with the achievements of others in his special line of business - there is no other way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Judging Quotes

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Giving Quotes , Furniture Quotes

Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Etiquette Quotes

It is a mystery that is hidden from me by reason that the emergency requiring the fathoming of it hath not in my life-days occurred, and so, not having no need to know this thing, I abide barren of the knowledge.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Needs Quotes , Emergencies Quotes

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Atheist Quotes

Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Age Quotes , Genius Quotes

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Way Quotes

When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Failure Quotes , Fall Quotes

from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vacancy Quotes , World Quotes

Wherefore, I beseech you let the dog and the onions and these people of the strange and godless names work out their several salvations from their piteous and wonderful difficulties without help of mine, for indeed their trouble is sufficient as it is, whereas an I tried to help I should but damage their cause the more and yet mayhap not live myself to see the desolation wrought.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Math Quotes

Children have but little charity for one another's defects

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Charity Quotes

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Mad Quotes

an Autobiography is the truest of all books; for while it inevitably consists mainly of extinctions of the truth, shirkings of the truth, partial revealments of the truth, with hardly an instance of plain straight truth, the remorseless truth is there, between the lines, where the author-cat is raking dust upon it which hides from the disinterested spectator neither it nor its smell... the result being that the reader knows the author in spite of his wily diligences.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Cat Quotes

An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Quotes

If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is. Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he waited a thousand years before doing it. They forget to say that he is the slowest mover in the universe, that his Eye That Never Sleeps, might as well, since it takes a century to see what any other eye can see in a week.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grateful Quotes , Sleep Quotes

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Smell Quotes , Giving Quotes