Mark Twain Quotes

Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.

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Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Party Quotes

Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doe Quotes , Body Quotes

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

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I can speak French but I cannot understand it.

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You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Quotes

We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.

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One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it. They also believed the world was flat.

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Honor is a harder master than the law.

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If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Frogs Quotes

Be good and you'll be lonesome

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Is it, perhaps, possible that there are two kinds of Civilization-one for home consumption and one for the heathen market?

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The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

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How slow and still the time did drag along.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Drag Quotes

The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies. This Bible is built mainly out of fragments of older Bibles that had their day and crumbled to ruin. So it noticeably lacks in originality, necessarily. Its three or four most imposing and impressive events all happened in earlier Bibles; there are only two new things in it: hell, for one, and that singular heaven I have told you about.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clever Quotes , Lying Quotes

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

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You can't throw too much style into a miracle.

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A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean advantages over each other; age creeps upon them; infirmities follow; ...those they love are taken from them, and the joy of life is turned to aching grief. It comes at last--the only unpoisoned gift earth ever had for them--and they vanish from a world where they were of no consequence, ...a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Grief Quotes

To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Justice Quotes , Pleasure Quotes