Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Lying Quotes

Independence-is loyalty to one's best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Single Quotes , Loyalty Quotes

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Heroine: girl who is perfectly charming to live with, in a book.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Book Quotes

To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Character Quotes

We get our morals from books. I didn't get mine from books, but I know that morals do come from books- theoretically at least.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Moral Quotes

The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who will stoop to do things for a million dollars that they ought not to be willing to do for less than 2 millions.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Humble Quotes

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Men Quotes

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Relationship Quotes

It is yet another Civilized Power, with its banner of the Prince of Peace in one hand and its loot-basket and its butcher-knife in the other. Is there no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level?.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knives Quotes , Civilization Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

When congress is in session no American is safe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Safe Quotes , Congress Quotes

For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Future Quotes

I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Past Quotes , History Quotes

Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take the wind out of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Pride Quotes

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Use Quotes

It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Men Quotes

Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Marriage Quotes

The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Idiot Quotes